Sample Argumentative on Romantic Love Is a Poor Basis for Marriage

Romantic Love is a Poor Basis for Marriage

It is quite difficult to refute that being in love creates a wonderful feeling to both lovers. People should understand why many songs have been composed about romantic love while several authors have written books that focus solely on this topic. Romantic love involves having a deep intimate relationship, where faults, abuses, and differences are overlooked. Romantic love “brings out the very best in people” (Sailor, 2013, p. 2). If couples are in romantic love, and they believe on those feelings, then they are capable of building a strong foundation for their marriages. Although couples are likely to get irritated easily, they understand their own weaknesses and try to mend them because it becomes hard for them to remain irritated. However, couples who base their marriage on romantic love after marriage may suffer disappointment, and may even contemplate on divorce after a short period. This study would thus endeavor to disagree with the statement: “romantic love is a poor basis for marriage.”

When people are in an intimate relationship, they find it hard to live without each other. Self-expansion theory asserted that individuals engage in romantic love with an intention of incorporating characteristics of their loved ones into their own self. A large number of couples enter into marriage after spending a considerable time together, enjoying every moment whenever they are together, and eventually committing their lives to be together. This notion suggests that romantic love holds a valuable ingredient for marriage. Who would like to commit to boring life for the rest of his/her life? Who does not need a kiss every morning before leaving for work? The most essential requirement for true love is accepting ourselves, even when we have faults and virtues (Cox, 2013, p. 67). Couples can form the basis of their marriage from romantic love, since this kind of love does not dwell on faults, conflicts, or abuse. There is nothing wrong in communicating dreams, aspirations, thoughts, and feelings in marriage, as this depicts maturity in expressing feelings.

Pragmatism is essential in sustaining marriage, but it will come after creating romantic feelings. However, pragmatic marriages are not long lasting because couples are usually forced into marriage without their consent. Romantic love creates a close connection that assists lovers to understand each party fully before getting married. If one gets married to an individual who he/she does not love, that kind of marriage can only last for a while due to disagreements. If both couples agree to make decisions together, then romantic love can continue in marriage. When couples enter into marriage contract, several challenges emerge, such as paying rents, planning for mortgage, raising children, and maintaining a status quo. However, couples who adore each other will always succeed in making plans together, in addition to resolve issues surrounding their marriages amicably. Marriages break up because couples are not committed to each other completely (Buckner, 2010, p. 41). Lovers who believe on the old saying that love is blind are the ones who fell into dilemma of knowing what to do and what to avoid.

On the contrary, marriages should not be based on romantic love because they are likely to be limited by disappointments. In most cases, marriages based on romantic love cannot withstand numerous temptations. When two people fall madly in love with each other, they are likely to break up their marriage immediately after one party experiences disappointment. According to Buckner (2010), one of the hardest things that an individual encounters is to learn how to live with another person, especially a marriage partner (p. 37). Tham (2014) defined marriage as coming together of two people, who have devoted the rest of their lives to be there for each other. Divorce statistics indicate that more than three-quarters of all marriages break due to irreconcilable differences. Irreconcilable differences, such as conflict of personality and varied interests, emerge because couples do not take time to know each other. The contemporary world permits people to explore each other’s lives, rather than let romantic feelings overwhelm reality.

In conclusion, I support the notion that romantic love is fundamental for long lasting marriage. Romantic love illustrates that somebody cares deeply about the other party’s feelings and emotion, rather than ignoring them. If romantic love is bad, then people should stop dedicating so much time on composing music, making movies, and writing books, concerning the topic. It is quite healthy, and logical, to hang around with somebody who minds about how you feel, rather than somebody who is always in disagreement with your thoughts. It is through romantic love that couples learn to share and undertake responsibilities together. Stating that romantic love is healthy for a marriage does not mean that romantic love is the only thing that works in marriage. Contrary to this argument, Knox and Schacht (2013) noted that the strength of romantic love declines across time in a relationship (p.83). Thus, having no romantic sentiment before marriage is healthy for a lasting relationship, as couples are not likely to break up due to disappointment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Buckner, E. (2010). Enduring the Seasons of Marriage. Xulon Press.

Cox, F. D. (2013). Human intimacy: Marriage, the family, and its meaning. S.l.: Wadsworth.

Knox, D., & Schacht, C. (2013). Choices in relationships: An introduction to marriage and the family. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Sailor, J. L. (2013). A phenomenological study of falling out of romantic love. The Qualitative Report, 18(19), 1-22. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/1505321141?accountid=1611

Tham, D. (2014). Expository & Argumentative Eureka: Model Expository and Argumentative Essays for Today”s Secondary School Students. Singapore: Marshall Cavendish.